- Do you feel sad, lonely and distant in your relationship?
- Do you often fight over trivial things?
- Do you feel like you are living with a roommate, often spending time in separate areas of the house?
- Do you censor what you say because you are afraid of being judged, criticized or misunderstood by your partner?
- Do you want things to improve in your relationship but don’t know how?
However frustrated, desperate or helpless you may be feeling right now, there is always hope. Every relationship has its ups and downs, every couple has their differences. If you are reading these words right now, chances are you are still willing to go the extra mile. You may just be feeling confused and lost over what to do next, keep reading to find out more!
Falling in love is easy. Staying together often takes work. Most people have never received formal education about important relationship skills required to maintain a relationship and resolve differences. To compound the problem, the average couple waits six years too long before they finally reach for professional help. People suffer far too long with unhappiness without knowing that their relationships can be improved with the help of a marriage/couples counsellor.
You don’t have to do it alone. As a trained marriage / couples counsellor, I can offer you numerous ways to gain insights into your relationship, break negative patterns, learn new relationship skills and build closer connections with your partner whether your issues are:
- Lack of trust
- Power struggle
- Surviving an affair
- Emotional distance
- Poor communication
- Loss of intimacy
- Feelings of inadequacy, aloneness and etc.
- Dealing with pressure and stress due to infertility
For a free, no obligation, 20 minute in-person or phone consultation, please contact me directly at 778-868-4094.
Relationships end because of neglect and inaction. I know taking the first step toward getting the help is the most difficult for some people, but the first step is also an important statement you can make to yourself that you are no longer willing to stay where you are. (Click here to find out what marriage counselling looks like.)
Waiting and hoping that your relationship will somehow get better on its own will most likely not give you the result you are looking for in the long run. If you want to heal your relationship but don’t know where to start, or if you have tried to work things out on your own and very little progress has been made, it is a wise move to find professional help. The sooner you receive the help you need for your relationship, the better the outcome of your process will be.
Couples / Marriage Counselling can help you to:
- Identify negative “cause and effect” cycle
- Address underlying issues
- Recognize destructive communication patterns
- Become aware of faulty assumptions that trigger reactive behaviours
- Learn to stop blaming and criticizing each other
- Learn to listen and speak with compassion and composure
- Resolve conflict with respect and maturity
Create emotional safety and security in the relationship
- Rebuild connection, intimacy and passion
- Create emotional safety and security in the relationship
- Resolve conflict with respect and maturity
To schedule a free, no obligation, 20 minute in-person or phone consultation, you can call me at 778-868-4094.
White Rock Relationship Counsellor - Helen Tang
As a Registered Professional Counsellor with the Canadian Professional Counsellors Association, I have specialized training in couples / marriage counselling. My training includes the highly successful and proven Imago Relationship Therapy, Encounter-Centred Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Nonviolent Communication.
At a personal level, I have been married for 15 years. In our marriage, my husband and I often use relationship skills we have learned over the years to build a healthier relationship and to co-create a richer and more fulfilling life together. We are consciously aware that such effort is not only beneficial for us as a couple, but it also contributes significantly toward our child growing into a healthy, responsible and relationally mature individual in the future.
Take the courageous step and seek marriage / couples counselling. You don't have to keep feeling sad, unhappy, frustrated and depressed, the help is within reach. With your commitment and willingness to grow, it is possible to heal your relationship and feel the love and the connection that have once brought you together.
Your relationship is a worthy investment, the more you invest in your relationship, the more valuable it becomes.
For a free, no obligation, 20 minute in-person or phone consultation, please call me at 778-868-4094.
What to expect - your first couples counselling session?
During the initial session, I will ask you a few questions for the purpose of assessing your current situation and establishing the goal for counselling. These questions may include:
Why you sought counselling. The issue(s) that have led you to see me. I will ask each of you to describe the problems from your perspective. This is done because couples often see issues differently. I will also ask what solutions has been sought in the past and what has worked, not worked based on those experiences.
Your current life situation. Sometimes, outside factors such as having a newborn, moving to a different part of the country or one partner suffering from a chronic medical condition can add stress to the relationship. It is important for me to have a bigger picture of your life in order to help you.
Your goals and expectations. I will ask you both to share with me what you are hoping to get from the process of counselling. This is the beginning of defining your goals and objectives of being in couples therapy.
In addition to the above, I will tell you at a general level how we will work together going forward. I will also answer any questions you may have about counselling or about the issues presented.
Because I believe that it is important to have a good fit between the counsellor and the client, at the end of the session, we will check in to see whether the counselling process is to be continued.
Who do you work with?
I work with couples who experience a variety of challenges. I also work with couples who have good relationships and are looking to further their connections and growths together.
What if my partner isn't willing to participate?
This issue is very common. Sometimes people are simply worn out and they feel hopeless about their relationship and don't see how it can get better. Other times, people have misconceptions about what marriage counselling entails, the very idea of going to therapy brings about anxiety.
If this is the situation you are facing, it is important that you receive individual therapy to relieve and ease your pain and distress. The focus of our work will center around your relationship and what you can do to improve it. There are skills you will learn that can be immediately applied to better your relationship. Often times, reluctant partners decide to participate in therapy once they have seen the positive changes created by the spouse who receives individual relationship counselling.
Whose side are you going to be on?
I am on the side of your relationship. My job is not to determine who is right, who is wrong, who is good, who is bad. My focus is to help the two of you to dissolve your differences in a mature and respectful way and re-create the connection you long for.
Is counselling confidential?
Confidentiality is an extremely important aspect to counselling. With a few exceptions to your legal rights to have confidentiality and privacy, which I will go over with you at our first session, your sharing is completely confidential.
How many sessions are required ?
This is not an easy question to answer. Couples come in with a variety of issues and the severity of the issues are also different. Depending on the types of issues we are looking at and how long you've had these issues, the number of sessions vary. Some people begin to notice positive changes after 2 to 3 sessions. Generally speaking, sustainable progresses are achieved after 8 to 12 sessions.
The progress of the therapy also depends on how much work you put in. The counselling process doesn't work like the medical model where you tell your doctor about your symptoms and he/she diagnoses and prescribes you a medication to cure your illness. Counselling is a team effort. The more you participate, the more benefit you will receive. Active participation means that you can directly influence the length of the therapy. I will share with you at our first session what active participation looks like.
You can start and stop counselling at any time you wish, you can work as fast or as slow as you would like to. Since most relationship issues cannot be resolved within 1 to 2 sessions, having enough sessions will give you a sense of clarity of the issues at hand and the progress you are able to make in that time span. Ultimately, it is your decision.
If you are asking this question because of financial concern and you are making progress and are satisfied with the work, it is a good idea to talk to me about your financial situation as we may be able to come up with an alternate arrangement so that you can continue with counselling.
How long are the sessions and how often do we see you?
Generally speaking, the sessions are 90 minutes in length and you can see me either weekly or bi-weekly. I am also open to discuss alternative arrangements with different session length and frequency.
How much does it cost? Is it covered by insurance?
Counselling services provided by Registered Counsellors may or may not be covered by your insurance plan. Please check with your insurance provider for more details.
The cost of marriage counselling is a worthwhile investment compared to many of the other alternatives. For example, it is much more expensive to hire a mediator or a divorce lawyer, not to mention the cost of your mental and emotional suffering caused by the stress of your relationship.
What happens if I need to cancel or re-schedule a session?
I request a 48-hour notice should you need to cancel or re-schedule a session. Otherwise, the full session fee will apply. I will go through my policy in detail at our first session.
What happens if I run into you in public places?
It might be awkward to run into me in public places because what has been shared during sessions can be extremely personal and private, in any case, I will respect your privacy. I will wait for you to acknowledge me and will not greet you unless you do so. If you choose not to acknowledge or greet me, I completely understand.
Helen Tang, RPC, CHt, CMA
Registered Professional Counsellor & Couples Therapist
Office: #303 - 15292 Croydon Drive, South Surrey, BC
Contact Form: Click here
Providing marriage & couples counselling services to the communities of White Rock, Surrey, Delta & Langley, BC